No, not Jesus or any other deity for whom we have been waiting. No, the Messiah...as in Handel's Messiah. As in "Hallelujah Chorus" Messiah. There we go...about 5o% of you just said "Ah" in your heads. The other half may need some learnin'.
Though I just got my hands on it, we performed it way back in December. "We" are the members of the University of Arkansas Master Chorale, an ensemble of community members and UofA students, faculty, and staff. I sang with them last fall and it was a great experience. No audition necessary, but it is still a very good group, especially after the University's audition choir (Schola Cantorum) is added in for concerts. Most people sing one or two choruses. That had been my experience as well through Concert Choir at the UofA and in high school. This time was different. We learned and sang every single chorus.
It took a little longer to produce than they had anticipated. I haven't the foggiest idea about recording technology, but they produced an okay product. Several of the audience members said it was the best they had ever heard a live performance. Having the orchestra surely helped this. Having listened to it I can say the vocalists are drowned out by the instrumentalists a bit, but it does sound nice. As always, too many sopranos ruins the balance and a few squeakers hurt the blend, but it is still an enjoyable listen.
I even got all dressed up for it. How nice...a tux..during the holiday season. I clean up alright, don't I?
UPDATE: A needed note. Someone called out a mistake in my writing. Well into this I talk about being a "deeper" Catholic than some. I was out of line on that one. I should have said that I attend church more often and participate more than some. Thank you H.
This is the letter I am sending one of the campus ministers who helps run the campus Catholic parish that I attend in Fayetteville, Arkansas. I started attending this church when I was in grade school and returned to it when I became a college student. I am a core member of their wonderful little choir. The campus minister is NOT a priest...just a "helper" I guess. This campus minister has been there for much of my college experience and I greatly respect and appreciate her. I have talked many times with her about my doubts regarding the moral authority of the Church. Here, I tell her my journey with the Catholic Church is over.
I am thinking that this will be my last semester at St. Thomas Aquinas.I have spent 10 years since having come out trying to rationalize how my participation in the Church does not harm millions of LGBT people, women, and the poor around the world.
I told myself that because I have not donated money in years, that I am not supporting the Church.I have told myself that I sing not out of service to the Church, but for personal enjoyment and the ego boost I get when someone gives us a compliment.I have stopped receiving communion because I don't want to pretend to even myself that I believe all that the Church stands for.
I was already drifting, but recent events have made the cognitive dissonance impossible to maintain.First, I personally know the gentleman who was sexually assaulted by the priest at St. Joseph in Fayetteville, and I completely believe his story.Yet I hear the priest is soon receiving a new assignment.
More important though, is the recent revelations surrounding Cardinal Ratzinger.I knew I didn't like him to begin with.I much prefer the spiritual leadership of two previous popes who died before I was even born.I have long rationalized that American Catholics follow their own beliefs and that the American Bishops sometime reflect this.Telling myself that I can be an American Catholic, and believe along with my peers that things like birth control are humane and not in conflict with G-d, used to comfort me and silence the questions from my friends, both non-believers and recovering Catholics in the LGBT and progressive communities.
Any kind of effort to hide the evil actions of priests is beyond rationalization.Keeping information from legal authorities is not just a sin against the state and its citizens, but it is a sin against G-d and his children.Cardinal Ratzinger equates freedom and equality for gay people with a violent act against human dignity.Out of the other side of his mouth he directs the Church to shelter those who act to destroy individual humans and families.I don't think the Church should hand down judgment as if they were G-d, but at minimum they should protect their members AND obey the law.
A sad fact of this is that I am probably a deeper Catholic in many ways than other people my age, or even my three brothers.My moral code is drawn from the teachings of Jesus and from the traditions of the Semitic people.My sense of humility (which sometimes keeps be from trying to succeed for myself) and duty to those less fortunate drive my political beliefs.I think politics should bring the gifts of G-d to the biggest number of people possible. The proverb of fish versus fishing means to me not that we “teach” people to somehow raise themselves to the middle class, or even to the working class for those in the developing world.I believe that the message for our day is that we should not temporarily relieve poverty or suffering and attach a deadline for such assistance.I believe we are to create an economy where there are so many opportunities and incentives for people to provide for themselves.If there are not enough jobs because of how we structure the perverse incentives of our greed as an economy, then we should provide for those that fall through the cracks.We should always be humble….and being humble to those around you is being humble to G-d.
The Bible talks far more about poverty and how we treat money than it talks about any of the issues that seemingly divide Americans today.The insistence of the Church on elevating issues of personal freedom like sexuality and contraception detracts from the great and pressing evil of governments that assist humanity in fulfilling en masse the basest of urges:greed.While the Church uses scare tactics and moralizing to discourage condom use in Africa, millions are infected with HIV and their illness wreaks havoc on the micro and macro economies in their nations.In this country the Church equates marriage equality to a threat against human dignity and an attack on families.Meanwhile our collective greed was allowed to entice families into situations so precarious that the slightest change in their financial situation sent them into bankruptcy and foreclosure.The statistics say nothing ruins a marriage and threatens the family like bankruptcy.The anecdotal evidence tends to agree.
I am at the point that I think calling myself a Catholic and associating with the Church is not my best option if I am to continue to try to contribute to a world that is worthy of a creator G-d.I feel like I will no longer attend a Catholic church regularly.Being invited to sing for weddings or funerals is still something that will draw me back from time to time.Attending in order to celebrate special personal rituals of my family members will also call me back.Whether I will call myself ex-Catholic or a recovering Catholic is a good question.Non-practicing?A cultural Catholic?Where do I go?The Unitarian Universalists?
So here I am on Holy Thursday about to leave the Church.I will fulfill my obligation to sing at Easter Mass and our upcoming Multicultural Mass.I owe that to my choir director and the people with whom I have enjoyed singing.I don’t owe the Church anything else and if I owe G-d and his people something, it certainly won’t be repaid through the Catholic Church.
******, your guidance has helped me to continue my faith journey at St. Thomas Aquinas.I feel that you reminded me that despite my frustrations that I should remain humble, be introspective, and seek to understand some universal wisdoms.You made me feel welcome as a human being. That respect was one of very few reasons why I tried to continue growing my resolve that the core Catholic teachings about what we are to do on this Earth are good and true things.Thank you for your patience and service to humanity.
Sincerely,
Casey Willits
PS.Feel free to share this with either Father or those with whom you work.Understanding the inner conflict of a rational and educated student surely helps St. Thomas Aquinas minister to the University of Arkansas community.
Okay, I don’t watch too much TV, and have always loathed anything that is too popular, but this year I have been watching some American Idol on YouTube. This past week was Idol Gives Back or something about giving to charity, and each contestant picked a song of inspiration. Together they performed a few numbers that are generally inspirational. One they chose was "Shout to the Lord", a contemporary Christian song popular in many evangelical sects. AI removed the world "Jesus" and replaced it with "sheperd", but the rest of the song has imagery that any Christian will recognize, but that also speaks to persons of other faiths. I didn’t even catch that they took Jesus out until I read that they did. I personally was surprised to hear this kind of song on AI because I thought it was risky for their audience (people who consume popular culture by the shovel full), not just because I am not used to Christian music in the media mainstream.
Fine. It was a group number that needed to be inspirational, and that speaks to people. The other group number was "Seasons of Love" from RENT, a song that focuses on love and friends, but comes from a play full of gay people, drugs, rock music, straight sex, AIDS, New York City, vulgarity, and with a very skeptical, liberal, secular bent. Sounds fair to me. They sang the "nice" song from a risque modern play. They sang a VERY popular Christian song, but changed the reference to Jesus, thus expanding the audience by at least a billion Muslims who will still get the imagery of shepherd, savoir, and a tower of refuge and strenth.
But Christians are bitching. I happened across one blog about it, and got pissed. So I am ranting. One person suggested that the previous contestants that were openly gay would have objected to singing the song had they have still been on the show. Asinine. Rather, what an ass!
Here is part of what this person said: "I wonder what would have happened if the openly gay singers like David Hernandez and Danny Noreiga were still on? The song was left pretty ’safe’, though, from my view, was still focused on Christian imagery. I don’t know if they would have balked."
This was my response: "I find your comment about the possibility of openly gay singers "balking" over singing a Christian song plain asinine. Assuming that openly gay people are or are not Christian is prejudice, plain and simple. LGBT people are all over the spectrum when it comes to spirituality, everything from atheist to evangelical Christian.
I thought the night was supposed to be about inspiration and drawing people together to do good. In drawing out everyones better angels, I think coming together over a low common denominator like, say, HUMANITY, is quite appropriate.
Calling forth the images of "the wonders of your mighty love" shouldn’t be reserved to Christians or be used, in this sense, to proselytize. People the world over respect the music of other people, but music that speaks to people directly can help bond humanity together. Common language, themes, ideas, etc, can help everyone who listens understand that humans the world over share core values and cultural imagery.
In this setting, I am sure even some CHRISTIANS feel a little uncomfortable with the idea of asking for charity only through the lense of Christian charity. I think many Americans believe in charity because we are wealthy country and it is a human tragedy that many live in squalor while a slim minority of humanity reaps the benefits of globalization, technology, and capital."
Hell, shouldn’t they have been concerned with perfect Mormon boy David Archuleta (a current favorite to win) singing a song that comes from a worldy play? This just burns me I guess. I grew up Catholic. I still practice (sort of). I sing the contemporary worship sounds because they lift me up and inspire me and make me feel connected to something bigger. Hell, the only reason I even go to Mass any more is to sing in the choir. I leave just as much of a skeptic though, doubting the divinity of Jesus and questioning whether there is anything more than just some bigger thing that is so mysterious that all we can even imagine about it is utterly ridiculous and stupid.
And by the way, let’s be real: that little boy David Archuleta has HOMO written all over him. Give him a few years, time to escape from family and the Mormon church, and he will be singing showtunes on Broadway and giving speeches thanking some ridiculously good-looking stud for his support over the years. I love him to death, he is talented and cute, and maybe he is not actually gay, but let’s be real....
So I am going to leave you with two things. 1) the link to blog article so you can read it for yourself and 2) a song. A very interesting song in that it has changed over time. The orginal score was part of a larger patriotic piece called "Finlandia" by Jean Sibelius that was changed into a stand alone piece called "Finlandia Hymn" that quickly became a pseudo anthem of Finland. It was so beautiful though, the music, that an international version was written with lyrics that almost all nations on earth could identify with patriotically, but with a great respect for the peoples of all other nations. This is the version that most of us know as "This is my song." Here is a link to the different versions of the lyrics, check it out to see how it was changed to draw the whole world into the audience. This song literally makes me cry when I here it done well. It is beautiful and really speaks to the fact that we are all humans on this earth and that others have feelings and passions just as real as our own.
