What Arkansas voters think about us

No, there wasn’t another chance for our opponents to put our civil rights up for a vote this year in Arkansas. In 2004 government-by-mob resulted in cementing marriage discrimination into the Arkansas Constitution by a vote of 75% to 25%. 2008 saw Arkansas voters vote 57% to 43% to deny parent-less children loving homes and families with Act 1, the foster and adoption ban on unmarried couples. 2010 was free and clear of efforts to put LGBTQ people and their families on the sacrificial altar that is all too often benignly called “politics.”

Where do we stand with voters right now? In an election year dominated by topics like jobs, the economy, and spending we didn’t hear too much about “the gays,” but the yearly Arkansas Poll from the University of Arkansas keeps asking voters and the results are in. The NWA Times reported yesterday in their editorial about the Arkansas Poll and the data was important enough for them to include a mention of marriage equality.

We also note the drop in the percentage of respondents who believe there should be no legal recognition of a gay couple.
The percentage of those polled who think gays should be allowed to marry is still below 20 percent. The number who would allow gay domestic partnerships is also steady at 27 percent, a number consistent with recent years’ findings. However, the number of people who think there should be no legal recognition of a gay couple is below a clear majority at 48 percent. This compares to 54 percent in most recent years.

Let’s work with the relationship recognition numbers first, but please be sure to read all the way down for the numbers on Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. They will surprise you! The numbers for relationship recognition support in Arkansas for the past few years:

So for the first time there is NOT a MAJORITY of Arkansans who want to make same sex couples legal strangers. Though full marriage equality is only supported by 19% of Arkansans, the additional 27% of Arkansans that support civil unions or domestic partnerships bring the total percentage of Arkansas voters who support recognizing same sex relationships to 46%. It’s not the magic fifty percent and I wouldn’t take it to the bank (or the ballot box) but it’s worth noting that support for relationship recognition rose 6 points from 2009. Sound odd for Arkansas? Should we just blame it on the economy?

To put this in perspective, both Equality California and Equality Maine have stated that they will not be returning to the ballot box until they see consistent polling for full marriage equality above 50%. Both states briefly had marriage equality and both states lost it at the ballot box, with just under 48% voting NO to repeal. Our number for marriage equality is 19%. We aren’t there. We won’t be there for a long time. But nearly half of Arkansas voters think there should be some kind of legal protections. Keep your chin up.

Now what about the actual pressing legislative issue dealing with the LGBTQ community, DADT? It was polled for, but why did the NWA Times not report the numbers? Perhaps because it’s not newsworthy? 56% of Arkansas voters approve of “homosexual men and women” serving openly in the military. Read it for yourself:

Something to keep in mind: how you ask the question matters. A CBS Poll this spring showed that the number approving increases if those “homosexuals” are referred to as “gay men and lesbians.” The repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was held up before the election but the word is that it will be voted on again in a lame-duck session of Congress after the Pentagon reports December 1st on how it will affect the military.

Done foolin' myself or: how I learned to stop rationalizing and leave the Church

UPDATE: A needed note. Someone called out a mistake in my writing. Well into this I talk about being a "deeper" Catholic than some. I was out of line on that one. I should have said that I attend church more often and participate more than some. Thank you H.

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This is the letter I am sending one of the campus ministers who helps run the campus Catholic parish that I attend in Fayetteville, Arkansas. I started attending this church when I was in grade school and returned to it when I became a college student. I am a core member of their wonderful little choir. The campus minister is NOT a priest...just a "helper" I guess. This campus minister has been there for much of my college experience and I greatly respect and appreciate her. I have talked many times with her about my doubts regarding the moral authority of the Church. Here, I tell her my journey with the Catholic Church is over.

__________________________________________________

******,

I am thinking that this will be my last semester at St. Thomas Aquinas. I have spent 10 years since having come out trying to rationalize how my participation in the Church does not harm millions of LGBT people, women, and the poor around the world.

I told myself that because I have not donated money in years, that I am not supporting the Church. I have told myself that I sing not out of service to the Church, but for personal enjoyment and the ego boost I get when someone gives us a compliment. I have stopped receiving communion because I don't want to pretend to even myself that I believe all that the Church stands for.

I was already drifting, but recent events have made the cognitive dissonance impossible to maintain. First, I personally know the gentleman who was sexually assaulted by the priest at St. Joseph in Fayetteville, and I completely believe his story. Yet I hear the priest is soon receiving a new assignment.

More important though, is the recent revelations surrounding Cardinal Ratzinger. I knew I didn't like him to begin with. I much prefer the spiritual leadership of two previous popes who died before I was even born. I have long rationalized that American Catholics follow their own beliefs and that the American Bishops sometime reflect this. Telling myself that I can be an American Catholic, and believe along with my peers that things like birth control are humane and not in conflict with G-d, used to comfort me and silence the questions from my friends, both non-believers and recovering Catholics in the LGBT and progressive communities.

Any kind of effort to hide the evil actions of priests is beyond rationalization. Keeping information from legal authorities is not just a sin against the state and its citizens, but it is a sin against G-d and his children. Cardinal Ratzinger equates freedom and equality for gay people with a violent act against human dignity. Out of the other side of his mouth he directs the Church to shelter those who act to destroy individual humans and families. I don't think the Church should hand down judgment as if they were G-d, but at minimum they should protect their members AND obey the law.

A sad fact of this is that I am probably a deeper Catholic in many ways than other people my age, or even my three brothers. My moral code is drawn from the teachings of Jesus and from the traditions of the Semitic people. My sense of humility (which sometimes keeps be from trying to succeed for myself) and duty to those less fortunate drive my political beliefs. I think politics should bring the gifts of G-d to the biggest number of people possible. The proverb of fish versus fishing means to me not that we “teach” people to somehow raise themselves to the middle class, or even to the working class for those in the developing world. I believe that the message for our day is that we should not temporarily relieve poverty or suffering and attach a deadline for such assistance. I believe we are to create an economy where there are so many opportunities and incentives for people to provide for themselves. If there are not enough jobs because of how we structure the perverse incentives of our greed as an economy, then we should provide for those that fall through the cracks. We should always be humble….and being humble to those around you is being humble to G-d.

The Bible talks far more about poverty and how we treat money than it talks about any of the issues that seemingly divide Americans today. The insistence of the Church on elevating issues of personal freedom like sexuality and contraception detracts from the great and pressing evil of governments that assist humanity in fulfilling en masse the basest of urges: greed. While the Church uses scare tactics and moralizing to discourage condom use in Africa, millions are infected with HIV and their illness wreaks havoc on the micro and macro economies in their nations. In this country the Church equates marriage equality to a threat against human dignity and an attack on families. Meanwhile our collective greed was allowed to entice families into situations so precarious that the slightest change in their financial situation sent them into bankruptcy and foreclosure. The statistics say nothing ruins a marriage and threatens the family like bankruptcy. The anecdotal evidence tends to agree.

I am at the point that I think calling myself a Catholic and associating with the Church is not my best option if I am to continue to try to contribute to a world that is worthy of a creator G-d. I feel like I will no longer attend a Catholic church regularly. Being invited to sing for weddings or funerals is still something that will draw me back from time to time. Attending in order to celebrate special personal rituals of my family members will also call me back. Whether I will call myself ex-Catholic or a recovering Catholic is a good question. Non-practicing? A cultural Catholic? Where do I go? The Unitarian Universalists?

So here I am on Holy Thursday about to leave the Church. I will fulfill my obligation to sing at Easter Mass and our upcoming Multicultural Mass. I owe that to my choir director and the people with whom I have enjoyed singing. I don’t owe the Church anything else and if I owe G-d and his people something, it certainly won’t be repaid through the Catholic Church.

******, your guidance has helped me to continue my faith journey at St. Thomas Aquinas. I feel that you reminded me that despite my frustrations that I should remain humble, be introspective, and seek to understand some universal wisdoms. You made me feel welcome as a human being. That respect was one of very few reasons why I tried to continue growing my resolve that the core Catholic teachings about what we are to do on this Earth are good and true things. Thank you for your patience and service to humanity.

Sincerely,

Casey Willits

PS. Feel free to share this with either Father or those with whom you work. Understanding the inner conflict of a rational and educated student surely helps St. Thomas Aquinas minister to the University of Arkansas community.

What is your Pearl Harbor?

During any discussion of current politics, one of my brothers always points out that he doesn’t want the rules to change midgame. He feels like significant changes in healthcare, tax structure, and global climate change are unfair to those who are in the middle of their lives. Now, says he doesn’t purposely want to destroy the environment or deny people medical care, but he doesn’t want to be told what he can and can’t do and he doesn’t want to have to pay for other people.

So let me get this right: changing our expectations and our commitments in a changing world is un-American? Liberals and Democrats are lambasted as un-American because they see current challenges abroad and within as calls to collective action and higher duty?

Where is this coming from you ask? What set you off this time Casey?

Well, let’s start at McDonalds at about 8:15 this morning. For a grad student like me with mainly night classes and flexible research hours, this is actually early for me to be up and around. Normally for breakfast I try to eat two eggs at home with some kind of fruit and a little whole grain, but this morning was just another piece of a horrible week and a half, so I threw my hands up and surrendered to mass produced food-like products.

Considering that my grandparents live at least 4 hours away and I am perpetually stuck in either collegiate or organizing mode, I don’t have a lot of contact with folks who are significantly older than me. But like many McDonalds during breakfast hours, the McDonalds closest to campus had a fairly good sized crowd of older folks “dining” this morning. There were two noticeable groups actually. I will get to the second one in a minute, but the older crowd is what made me start thinking first. The older crowd tended towards men and coffee. Some perhaps were only there for coffee and a few were reading newspapers. Most were probably retired but I heard one talking about a job he had to do next week. A few wives had tagged along with their husbands. These folks were probably the age of my grandparents. WWII cohort. The Greatest Generation. I didn’t listen long enough to hear any general political talk, but I heard a random “Russia didn’t even win a gold medal”, a reference to what I thought was an amazing Winter Olympics in Vancouver. Nothing special here really, just a bunch of old men enjoying coffee with their friends.

Now, about these old men coffee drinkers and the Greatest Generation. The world owes the relative “peace” of the last 6 decades to this generation. They were presented with a situation that called for sacrifice and changed expectations. A changing world called on them to create a new reality. As the world continues to change and we are presented with new situations, wouldn’t it make sense that we must change with the changing times?

I say accepting new conditions and proactively attacking the coming problems is as honorable as what Americans did during WWII. They certainly accepted a way of life far different than they would have preferred. We complain about regulations that might possibly raise the price of dirty energy or gas guzzling cars, but they couldn’t buy cars at all during the war. Why not tax sugary drinks that are fueling our obesity crisis when our forefathers experienced rationing of sugar, butter, and all kinds of things in order to achieve a group goal.

I guess sacrifice is more honorable when it comes voluntarily from every single individual, but plenty of those soldiers in WWII and Korea and Vietnam were conscripted. We certainly don’t down play what they did and their forced sacrifice is still probably what was needed.

The United States probably should have entered WWII before they did. It was too controversial to step into the war before we were totally surprised at Pearl Harbor. Sure, many people then volunteered with the threat of imminent destruction at hand. Are we going to have to wait until disastrous conditions occur? What if it is too late with too many PPM CO2 in the atmosphere? Do we have to wait for universal health insurance until it is evident that the American economy cannot afford to spend nearly double what other countries spend? How long must we give tax breaks to the rich holding onto the idea that it will make anyone but the wealthy wealthier?

So tell me climate change skeptics, what is your Pearl Harbor? At what point will you believe and allow substantial policy change to occur?

Middle income and working class Americans who face service cuts and tax hikes, what is your Pearl Harbor? At what point will you ally yourselves with each other, rather than with the wealthy whom you hope to someday join?

All you Americans who fear insurance and medical bills getting in the way of your dreams, what is your Pearl Harbor? At what point will you demand care for people over profits?

What is your Pearl Harbor?

Before I forget 2009...

Stolen from Misty's Popcorn on a Skillet.

Year in review 2009

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
Went to grad school, missed my family Christmas

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I kept a big one: do well in school. I also got involved in my community to a great degree. I made a few vague but generally important resolutions for 2010.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My sister-in-law's brother had a his first child.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
He should have been far closer. My grandfather Gravatt died. Read about him here

5. What countries did you visit?
For me, Atlanta and New Orleans are different countries.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
a better functioning car, a summer internship

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
January 20th, It was cold here and even colder in Washington. Glad so many of my colleagues got to see the Inauguration of a very exciting President.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Becoming a graduate assistantship.

9. What was your biggest failure?
failure to develop more permanent health and leisure habits.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Luckily no.

11.What was the best thing you bought?

The first computer (laptop) I have ever paid for myself. I have had basically cheap hand me downs from family or old jobs for ten years.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
The LGBT community of NWA for becoming tighter and more willing to participate with each other.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Congressional Republicans. Honestly we have rarely seen such obstructionism. Anyone who says otherwise is itching for a fight. I kid....they just really don't know what they are talking about.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Well, most of it was not my money, now was it? Most of my student loan money went to paying general living expenses to keep me fully functioning as a student and community member. I did pay off my car though with a big chunk.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Going to New Orleans and to Atlanta so spend quality time with an old flame.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
Okay, this is where I cheat. I am going to put down four songs because they are around different experiences. I suggest you listen to the ones you don't recognize. Check here for 2009 hits.

Taylor Swift's "You Belong to Me"
Black Eyed Peas' "I gotta feeling"


Glee Cast's "Don't Stop Believin'"


La Roux's "Bulletproof"



17. Compared to this time last year, are you
i. happier or sadder?: happier
ii. thinner or fatter?: probably a shade thinner
iii. richer or poorer? richer (GA stipend is all it took!)

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
physical activity, pleasure reading, movies

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Reading of current events, wasting time on the internet, eating fast food during stress or school work

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
N/A next year is way too far away.

22. Did you fall in love in 2009?
I was reminded often of a deep appreciation and devotion to someone.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
"Glee"

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Sort of yes.... I try not to, but it happens.

26. What was the best book you read?
"Shock Doctrine" by Naomi Klein

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
La Roux (see #16)

28. What did you want and get?
Graduate assistantship, and there was this one cute guy I saw at a bar and we totally pursued each other for a little while.

29. What did you want and not get?
A vegetable garden in the yard

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Milk

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
27, but I really don't recall what I did.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
my computer not dying on me last spring.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
budding professor at school, but I never forgot my love of baseball caps

34. What kept you sane?
Long conversations with Joey, griping at Misty about foolish people, and a decent roommate

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Obama's speech writer, Jon Favreau

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Health insurance reform. I think the misinformation from the corporate conservatives borders on treason.

37. Who did you miss?
My colleagues from Georgia and Florida.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
If I tell, it will sound like I am not over him. But he is so much like me that we fought like cats and dogs!

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
You cannot hold the people you love to the standards that you wish the entire world would adopt. You must love them as is and still teach the world about what you value. The people you love might pick up on it and they might not. Hopefully they will understand your passion and support you whether they meet that standard or not.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Been there, done that, messed around
I’m having fun don’t put me down,
I’ll never let you sweep me off my feet,

My grandfather died.

Robert H. Gravatt 1925 - 2009 Basehor

Robert H. Gravatt
1925-2009
Services for Robert H. Gravatt, 83, Basehor, will be 10 a.m. Saturday, Jan. 17 at Holy Angels Catholic Church, Basehor.
Visitation will be from 6-8 p.m. Friday at the church. The Rosary will be said at 7 p.m.
Burial will follow the funeral at Holy Angels Cemetery.
Mr. Gravatt died Thursday, Jan. 15, 2009, at Tonganoxie Nursing Center.
He was born Oct. 18, 1925, in Lenexa, the son of Homer and Leona Mollett Gravatt. He served in the U.S. Navy during World War II. Mr. Gravatt married Edith Winterscheidt on Oct. 29, 1949 in Kansas City, Kan.. Mr. Gravatt was a machinist for Sealright Packaging Company and Owens-Corning Corp., both of Kansas City, Kan. He was a member of the Holy Angels Catholic Church, Basehor.
Survivors include his wife, Edith, of the home; one son, Robert H. Gravatt, Jr., Tonganoxie; four daughters, Roberta Brown, Kansas City, Gail Willits, Fayetteville, Ark., Marian Pant, Basehor and Anita Hay, Huntington, W.Va.; two sisters, Evelyn Cook, Lee’s Summit, Mo., and Shirley Suman, Kansas City, Mo.; 20 grandchildren; and 12 great-grandchildren.
Memorials are suggested to the Alzheimer’s Association or to the church building fund, care of Quisenberry Funeral Home, P.O. Box 993, Tonganoxie 66086.