Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Saturday, January 1, 2011

2010 in reading

To recap my reading in 2010, in a word: lackluster. I only read 18 books, which is probably my lowest total since sometime in high school. In this number I did not include several books for the heaviest of my grad classes that required several separate books as text. 10 fiction, 7 non-fiction, and one autobiography (of sorts). Additionally I re-read the 7th Harry Potter book in English and Spanish to prepare for the final editions of the film series.

The biggest new trend was that I attempted to get a basic primer in classic 20th century science fiction. Some of the modern science fiction movies are based novels that are quite good and I took a stab at a few of them. I enjoyed them and plan to read more of the seminal works in science fiction.

Everyone should read: Red Families V. Blue Families, Naomi Cahn and June Carbone
Everyone should read this...red...blue...those well-educated...those less-educated. I warn that those less-educated my be offended by some of the premises of the the "red" family model. Hell, everyone will probably point out that they don't fit the models laid out, but I figure that well-educated folks will understand how statistically you can differ from a model, but the model is still sound and you fit into it somewhere. This book has good research then a decent dose of throwing ideas out there that the research does tend to support.

The authors propose that much of American political "tension" and much of opposing American cultures are shaped by two family cultures. "Red" families marry early and often, have children early and often, and have lower levels of education (especially investment in education of 'girls'). "Blue" families postpone marriage and childbirth, but are more educated when they do marry and start families. The book digs into the kind of values each culture has that is related to the kind of families they tend to have. If sex MUST be in a marriage and marriage is for procreation, then it makes sense that "red" families don't really see the needed for marriage equality. "Blue" families may not understand why abstinence education is important to the culture of "red" families because "blue" families view avoiding unplanned pregnancy as a far more important goal than preventing unwed sex. This book does a good job of covering MANY reasons why these cultures differentiate and addresses how assumptions of these groups are sometimes wrong. African American families may vote blue in this case, but much of their family culture is "red" for instance. Good book. Every person should read.

Biggest Disappointment: Green Metropolis, David Owen
Though the main thesis is pretty sound, it is presented with a sense of moral superiority. Living in dense, efficient cities is "greener" than living in the suburban or exurban greenscapes, but someone from a big city telling those of us with few other choices that we must change is just annoying. Good theory, weak on strategies for transitioning and implementing policies to encourage efficient city living en masse.

Best Read, Fiction: Have Spacesuit - Will Travel, Robert Heinlein
This is a shorter novel by one of the seminal sci-fi authors. It's simple, straight forward and amazingly enjoyable. Readers who have seen the film of Starship Troopers will enjoy Heinlein's book by the same title, but this novel tells a simpler story and one likely to interest young readers.

Best Read, Non-fiction: 538 Ways to Live Work and Play like a Liberal, Justin Krebs
How is this one "best read" not in my highly recommended? Because not everyone wants to be or support liberal causes, though I imagine they would still like half of the daily activities in this book. This is the kind of book you have in the bathroom or kitchen or on your night stand or in your purse for times when you have 5 minutes to read. A little bit at a time, you read about things that philosophically or practically line up with what modern American liberalism (progressivism) espouses. I made a mental list of habits I ought to adopt because they build the kind of community that supports good policy. It may be as simple as planning shared rides or inviting neighbors over for a BBQ, but these things are what makes us build links with the world instead of walling ourselves away. (I also like it because I met the guy who wrote it and got to talk to him!)

The reading list. Those bolded I highly recommend


The Map That Changed the World Simon Winchester
Skeleton Coast Clive Cussler
Primary Colors Anonymous
Starship Troopers Robert Heinlein
Plague Ship Cliver Cussler
I, Robot Isaac Asimov
Contact Carl Sagan
The Chase Clive Cussler
Green Metropolis David Owen
The Color Purple Alice Walker
The Case Against Hillary Clinton Peggy Noonan
The Blueprint: How the Democrats Won Colorado Adam Schrager, Rob Witmer
Girl, Interrupted Susanna Kaysen
Red Families V. Blue Families Naomi Cahn and June Carbone
The Squandering of America Robert Kuttner
Have Space Suit - Will Travel Robert Heinlein
Love in the Time of Cholera Gabriel Garcia Marquez
538 Ways to Live Work and Play like a Liberal Justin Krebs

Monday, June 28, 2010

Keeping busy

Usually I do an amazing job of keeping myself busy worrying about things I can't change. More recently I have been keeping busy worrying about stuff I CAN change. This has resulted in a little more satisfaction from a sense of achievement, but there is still an element of worrying that is probably not useful. Not just not useful, but wasteful actually.

I have been doing way too much work for my organization, the NWA Center for Equality. With two very hardworking board members checking out two months before the end of their terms and with the new board members not yet contributing at full speed, there was a lot of work to do. Much of it is the day-to-day "busy" work that makes organizations, especially successful ones, run. I don't much like small detail work. I tend to stay lost in the big picture, looking at everything from a bird's eye view. I notice details...and know a bunch of the small steps it takes for things to succeed...I just don't like doing them. I think my mind is already jumping ahead while I need to be focusing on getting the next little piece of something done. Sometimes you are needed for your great, brilliant, strategic ideas. And sometimes you are needed for thankless grunt work. It's another one of the humbling experiences that we all need to engage in more often. A life of service should be filled with those kinds of moments. Even if you think you are SO amazing and that you have SO much to give the world. Get over yourself and pick up a shovel. Your big ideas will have their day. Sandbags need filled 24/7 during a flood. Shovel.

That little email newsletter that has never been sent out on a regular interval? Well, gathering the relevant info, writing it, getting the appropriate links, testing it, fighting piss poor online email software.....probably 2.5 hours a week or more. Helping keep the Facebook posts and status fresh so that people get the info they need? That takes some time too. Opening the office for a volunteer who needs to do some work? A drive across town doesn't take that long, but it breaks up your day and your plans. A board member or volunteer needs this or that contact info for that one person? Yes, the other board members technically have access to our HORRIBLE online email database, but really it's useless unless you have already wasted hours in it learning. So there is a little more time. Of course with our All OUT June (pride month), there was more planning and organizing than we have EVER had as an organization and it comes just as those retiring board members mentally check out and as the newbies get elected. This means the existing folks have to pull extra hard.

That kind of transition is very normal and to be expected. Those headed out will pull away from duties (though hopefully gracefully by empowering their replacements) and the new folks will have a learning curve as they realize what they actually signed on for. This is the flow of organizations. And yes the natural evolution of organizations includes controversy and disagreement and making some people mad. If you seek to make 100% of people happy 100% of the time you will end up achieving your mission 0% of the time. I have far too often heard people, especially in the LGBT rights movement, say that groups and associations don't last because of some quality of those people involved. I disagree. Those failures are more about the qualities of the people who quit or who never get involved. And I don't mean positive qualities.

The measure of a good organizer is that they organize themselves out of a job. Recruiting, training, empowering, and motivating others to get stuff done is the essence of organizing. I appreciate the volume of work done by the folks that have gone before as I am now doing much of it. However, I don't feel proud because I am doing it. I actually feel like I have failed because I have not figured out away to delegate some of this work to the other board members so that there is a equitable sharing of burden. Though not everything thing can go to volunteers outside of the board, what can must identified and distributed to others. After all, people WANT to help...they just don't know how or aren't asked to. Doing all the work yourself is not a sign of leadership at all. And congratulating yourself and doing the whole martyr thing is not productive.

Many people can get a job done. Far fewer can multiply their effort through the work of others. Even fewer can get that work from people for free. Those who can are called organizers.

Keeping with the idea that I should be worrying about things you have some control over, I guess I should end with the simple, common, and well-known serenity prayer:
God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.


Friday, January 29, 2010

Before I forget 2009...

Stolen from Misty's Popcorn on a Skillet.

Year in review 2009


1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?

Went to grad school, missed my family Christmas

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I kept a big one: do well in school. I also got involved in my community to a great degree. I made a few vague but generally important resolutions for 2010.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My sister-in-law's brother had a his first child.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
He should have been far closer. My grandfather Gravatt died. Read about him
here

5. What countries did you visit?
For me, Atlanta and New Orleans are different countries.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
a better functioning car, a summer internship

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
January 20th, It was cold here and even colder in Washington. Glad so many of my colleagues got to see the Inauguration of a very exciting President.


8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Becoming a graduate assistantship.

9. What was your biggest failure?
failure to develop more permanent health and leisure habits.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Luckily no.

11.What was the best thing you bought?

The first computer (laptop) I have ever paid for myself. I have had basically cheap hand me downs from family or old jobs for ten years.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
The LGBT community of NWA for becoming tighter and more willing to participate with each other.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Congressional Republicans. Honestly we have rarely seen such obstructionism. Anyone who says otherwise is itching for a fight. I kid....they just really don't know what they are talking about.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Well, most of it was not my money, now was it? Most of my student loan money went to paying general living expenses to keep me fully functioning as a student and community member. I did pay off my car though with a big chunk.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Going to New Orleans and to Atlanta so spend quality time with an old flame.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
Okay, this is where I cheat. I am going to put down four songs because they are around different experiences. I suggest you listen to the ones you don't recognize. Check
here for 2009 hits.

Taylor Swift's "You Belong to Me"
Black Eyed Peas' "I gotta feeling"


Glee Cast's "Don't Stop Believin'"


La Roux's "Bulletproof"



17. Compared to this time last year, are you
i. happier or sadder?: happier
ii. thinner or fatter?: probably a shade thinner
iii. richer or poorer? richer (GA stipend is all it took!)

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
physical activity, pleasure reading, movies

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Reading of current events, wasting time on the internet, eating fast food during stress or school work

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
N/A next year is way too far away.

22. Did you fall in love in 2009?
I was reminded often of a deep appreciation and devotion to someone.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
"Glee"

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Sort of yes.... I try not to, but it happens.

26. What was the best book you read?
"Shock Doctrine" by Naomi Klein

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
La Roux (see #16)

28. What did you want and get?
Graduate assistantship, and there was this one cute guy I saw at a bar and we totally pursued each other for a little while.

29. What did you want and not get?
A vegetable garden in the yard

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Milk

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
27, but I really don't recall what I did.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
my computer not dying on me last spring.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
budding professor at school, but I never forgot my love of baseball caps

34. What kept you sane?
Long conversations with Joey, griping at Misty about foolish people, and a decent roommate

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Obama's speech writer, Jon Favreau

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Health insurance reform. I think the misinformation from the corporate conservatives borders on treason.

37. Who did you miss?
My colleagues from Georgia and Florida.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
If I tell, it will sound like I am not over him. But he is so much like me that we fought like cats and dogs!

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
You cannot hold the people you love to the standards that you wish the entire world would adopt. You must love them as is and still teach the world about what you value. The people you love might pick up on it and they might not. Hopefully they will understand your passion and support you whether they meet that standard or not.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Been there, done that, messed around
I’m having fun don’t put me down,
I’ll never let you sweep me off my feet,

Saturday, January 17, 2009

My grandfather died.

Robert H. Gravatt 1925 - 2009 Basehor

Robert H. Gravatt
1925-2009
Services for Robert H. Gravatt, 83, Basehor, will be 10 a.m. Saturday, Jan. 17 at Holy Angels Catholic Church, Basehor.
Visitation will be from 6-8 p.m. Friday at the church. The Rosary will be said at 7 p.m.
Burial will follow the funeral at Holy Angels Cemetery.
Mr. Gravatt died Thursday, Jan. 15, 2009, at Tonganoxie Nursing Center.
He was born Oct. 18, 1925, in Lenexa, the son of Homer and Leona Mollett Gravatt. He served in the U.S. Navy during World War II. Mr. Gravatt married Edith Winterscheidt on Oct. 29, 1949 in Kansas City, Kan.. Mr. Gravatt was a machinist for Sealright Packaging Company and Owens-Corning Corp., both of Kansas City, Kan. He was a member of the Holy Angels Catholic Church, Basehor.
Survivors include his wife, Edith, of the home; one son, Robert H. Gravatt, Jr., Tonganoxie; four daughters, Roberta Brown, Kansas City, Gail Willits, Fayetteville, Ark., Marian Pant, Basehor and Anita Hay, Huntington, W.Va.; two sisters, Evelyn Cook, Lee’s Summit, Mo., and Shirley Suman, Kansas City, Mo.; 20 grandchildren; and 12 great-grandchildren.
Memorials are suggested to the Alzheimer’s Association or to the church building fund, care of Quisenberry Funeral Home, P.O. Box 993, Tonganoxie 66086.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

In the rain

I woke up late today, as I had been out late last night. I felt very good this "morning" and had a good breakfast at noon. It started raining, and when it rains in Florida it pours. The temperature was mild, perhaps 65 degrees or 70. For some strange reason I decided I wanted to be in the rain and then I figured if it was going to keep pouring then I could wash my car by hand. I changed into some athletic shorts and a cut-off t-shirt. Out into the rain I headed.

It was great. The rain was just the slightest bit cold but it felt good and refreshing on my skin. I used a rag to scrub my car off. It has so much crap on it that comes from the trees I guess, and it never comes off in the rain. I don't think I have ever really washed my car by hand. By some strange accident I have never taken part in a carwash fundraiser either. How is that possible? Isn't that a right of passage for middle American youth? My excuse is just that my Boy Scout troop never did one I guess.

It poured and I scrubbed. I got soaked and my clothes stuck to my body. My car received some much needed tender, loving care. And I was silly and young for a change. It was much needed as well. I played. I didn't care. I was by myself. When was the last time you played in the rain? Just for the sake of it, played in the rain, not to be crazy or to impress someone or because you were a little drunk.

When was the last time you played in the rain?